Week: Oh forget about the week!
Pounds Lost: 61.6
Pounds To Go: 106.4
Happy Thanksgiving Weekend Everyone!!! Oh Mylanta, we are in it, we are in the Christmas season and nothing could bring me more joy!!! Well, maybe not nothing, but seriously, I LOVE this time of year!!! Yep, I’m that person who puts on Christmas music as soon as it is on the radio (yeah, that was November 1st), I watch all the Hallmark Channel Christmas movies… more than once, and we decorate our tree before December! We decorated today in fact! Every year we drive to Disney World (only an hour away, it’s not that bad) and plunk down our pennies for new Disney ornaments to put on our tree. Yes we are a Disney family, but that is not entirely why our tree has a Disney theme every year. The why behind it is something that not many people know, but I feel the need to share. You see, weight loss isn’t just about letting go of pounds, it is also about letting go of emotional weight, things that you keep inside for no other reason than it is scary to let it out. It’s scary to own your sadness, to own the not so nice parts, but I promise owning it makes weight loss easier!
Every year, since I was 8 years old, my Dad took me to Disney Wold at the end of the summer. It was our trip. It was no coincidence that this annual trip across the country started the year my parents divorced, but that’s not this story. The trip was always amazing, full of laughter, love, and sunshine. At the end of the trip each year, we would go to the Disney’s Days of Christmas Shoppe and pick out our new tree ornament for the upcoming Christmas. The rule was, to get one, but let’s be real that NEVER actually happened. I always got at least two! Nevertheless, it was our tradition. This tradition carried into adulthood, and even my baby girl got to experience the Christmas Shoppe with Grandpa before her first Christmas. This is why our tree has a Disney theme. Getting a new ornament each year is a tradition many families have I’m sure, but ours must come from Disney World. I hold on tightly to any tradition that has him in it, I have to. I miss him so much every day, and especially at this time of year.
For the first few years after he died, I went a little ornament crazy. Last year I think we got 12 for our family of 4… but this year, for the first year ever, I only got 1. We came home with 4 ornaments, one for each of us! It was a Christmas miracle! No, not really. It’s just because I’m losing emotional weight along with fatty tissue. I may be crying as I write this, but I don’t feel the need to cover my sadness with food or in this case extra ornaments. I am taking the time to feel, to process, and to go on with my day. I have come to respect my sadness as a part of what makes me strong. I don’t have to hide it, or try to get over it, it’s there, but it doesn’t define me. Trying to hide it is what led Madame Scale to new heights in the first place.
So, there you have it, the reason behind our Disney themed Christmas tree. A little more sad than you may have expected, but that’s ok. Besides, isn’t our tree beautiful?? I’ll be over here just staring at it with my kiddos if you need me.