Ho Ho Holidays NOT Oh No Holidays!

IMG_6290Pounds Lost: 65

Pounds To Go: 103

 

Holidays are upon us, and for years that has meant that healthy eating is thrown out the window with the promise of starting anew in the New Year. A black cloud of cheat days looms and is seemingly unavoidable this time of year. HOWEVER… does it have to be that way? Do we have to sacrifice the progress we are  making on ourselves to participate in the holidays? Is it really easier to just have a cheat day than stay on track? The truth rests within your commitment and conviction to being on a healthy journey in the first place! You don’t have to give up on yourself for the rest of December in order to celebrate the holidays! No judgment, if you choose to, but please place a drop of awareness on the fact that it is a choice. Staying true to your healthy ways may be a challenge, but it is not impossible! Here are some tips on how to stay true to your transformation through the holidays:

Be Honest With Your Family and Friends: This tip may be the hardest to follow, but I promise it is well worth it! If your family and friends don’t know about your health changing journey, then you need to tell them! Let them know about the hard work you are doing on yourself. Show them how committed you are by making them aware! Give them a holiday event heads up if you will, that you will be sticking to your eating plan and workouts throughout the holidays, and then prove it to them!!! You never know, you may be inspiring one of your family members or friends to do the same.

Eat BEFORE You Go: Never go to a holiday function hungry! You are setting yourself up for failure and you may even eat more than ever intended. Don’t fast all day so that you have calories saved up for the special meal! Don’t do it! Eat before you go, especially if you  know that the options that align with your healthy diet path are limited.

Ask to Bring Something of Your Own: This goes back to that whole honesty thing. If you know that Granny’s Christmas Eve Buffet doesn’t include items that would fit within your eating plan, then ask if it would be ok if you brought something for yourself. You aren’t putting anyone out, you are coming prepared and if you stick to the items you bring, you will ensure your own success!

Talk and Socialize: This may be the biggest tip of them all!! If you occupy your time with socializing and really talking with people, they won’t even notice if you aren’t eating the same things they are! Better yet, you won’t be able to stuff your face with unhealthy options because you will be too busy talking. Holidays are all about spending time with the ones you love, right? So spend the time with them!

Create Alternatives to Your Favorites: Personally, I am following a Keto diet, which may seem scary when it comes to the holidays since most dishes and treats are carb and sugar centric, but really, there are alternatives! Take your favorite dishes and rework them so that they fit within your plan. For example, there are amazing low-carb Keto friendly mixes and recipes for cookies, cakes, and holiday treats, you just have to do a little research and make them your way. See those cookies pictured above… totally Keto!!

Bottom line is, being on a journey of health does not mean that you have to avoid the holidays! Embrace the joy of each event and don’t stress about how you sticking to your plan will be received by everyone else. People who love you want you to be healthy! Never be afraid to being that person who stays healthy through the holidays,  you will thank yourself for being ahead of the resolution game come the New Year!

 

XOXO,

Fatfree Mommy

A Treat Without Tricks!

45101469_1925525800858869_8663967901058859008_nWeek: #4ish closer to 5

Pounds Lost: 53.2

Pounds To Go: 112.8

Happy Halloween!!!! Things have been so busy around here with birthdays, football, cheerleading, getting ready for our next race-cation, all of it… but I could NOT let today go by without at least sharing my Keto treat!!! Here it is, it’s called Choc Zero, and I get mine off of good ol’ Amazon! It is Keto friendly and Nutella adjacent, so when a sweet craving tries to kick me off of my healthy wagon, I just have one of these and whammo bammo, good to go!

I have a SERIOUS sweet tooth that is in charge of my emotional eating!! A bad day, in the past, could quite easily result in the devouring of an entire small cake, not even kidding. So, I really have to be careful when it comes to Halloween or any event with candy or really anything with sugar. Except Black Licorice… there will NEVER be a day bad enough to make me turn to Black Licorice!! However, with all other sweets, I just don’t have an “I’m full” or “Just a taste” switch. I will just blindly consume until any emotional pain or anxiety has been replaced by physical pain. A true story that I have lived through more than I would ever care to admit, but this year, I have a plan!!

My plan is two-fold, first I have these choczero bars, which are delicious and satisfying. Second, involves my kids. No, I am not keeping them from Trick-or-Treating just to keep candy out of the house, I’m not a monster!! What I am doing, is helping them make healthier choices too!! Instead of coming home with a bag-o-candy and having whatever they want until they themselves feel ill, they are allowed 1. Yes, 1 piece of candy or treat of their choice! Every day when they come home from school, they can have another. Just 1 treat each day, until it is either gone, or they stop asking for it. We started this last year, and it actually works. By November’s end they actually stop asking, and I just donate the rest. Easy peasy!! They aren’t over-indulging. They aren’t learning bad behaviors with sweets. They aren’t making me crazy with sugar-high behaviors, and bonus, I don’t feel the urge to stuff my face with Almond Joy! Everyone wins!!

So, on this candy centric feasting holiday, make sure you have a plan! Halloween does not have to mean diet death by sugar rush. Whatever you do, I wish you all a very Happy and Safe (maybe even Healthy) Halloween!!!

 

XOXO,

FatFree Mommy

It’s Not All About You, Madame Scale!

44118611_1899446603466789_7438876179781648384_nWeek: #2

Pounds Lost: 50

Pounds To Go: 116

These last 90 days of the year are about so much more than numbers on the scale. Sure, kickstarting my healthy journey and losing weight is a priority and definitely at the forefront of life, but there’s more to it than just eating the right foods and exercising! Wait, what?? There’s more to it?? Ummm yup! Here’s the thing, I can lose weight like it’s nobody’s business. In fact, if there was a way to be a professional weight loser, I’m pretty sure I would have been a CEO, but there has to be something said for the fact that I always put it back on and then some. What wasn’t changing?

Dealing with issues such as my Dad’s death or when I was drowning in stress by being a part of an organization which I didn’t align with from a morality standpoint, are just pieces of a puzzle that when all put together made a sign that said my attitude towards life needed attention. I was so focused on getting things done and working myself to exhaustion to create happiness, that I forgot to just look around me and notice the happy, notice things I was grateful for in any given day. That was, until I started the 90 day challenge on October 1st. Part of the challenge is to write down 10 things that I am grateful for every day, and they have to be specific to that day. Sure, I can sit down and say that I am thankful for my children, for my husband, for a home, for waking up at all, and I AM grateful for all of those things and people, but it had to be something different.

On the first day, I was grateful for a morning hug and kiss from my man cub, typically I ask for them, but this time he just went for it! It was an amazing way to start my day, and that day I actually took the time to recognize my gratitude for that moment. Yesterday, I was grateful for my daughter joining me during a kettle bell workout. I didn’t ask her to do it with me, she just noticed me exercising and wanted to join in. Today I was grateful for our entire family’s ability to NOT get black fabric dye on our kitchen table while making our Halloween costumes. Seriously, a four year old boy was involved and the table came out unscathed, it was a big deal!! You get the point, the gratefulness needs to be specific to that day.  Anyhow, by knowing that your goal is to write 10 things that you are grateful for in your day,  throughout your day you will be looking at life through eyes of gratitude.

OH MYLANTA, has that been a stress reliever! I’m not trying to say that I am somehow stress-free or that stressful situations or negative situations don’t happen. Hi, I have two children with two very different schedules… stress happens! What I am saying, is that when I go to bed, I’m recalling what I am grateful for instead of making to-do lists or worrying about what I didn’t get done. Then magic happens… I actually sleep! I sleep and I wake up rested, ready for the day! I am more focused in general which allows me to stay on track food wise. My muscles are actually rested, and ready for their next workout. Everything changes! It’s no secret that decreased stress and better sleep can result in more effective weight loss, everything is connected. There are literally hundreds of studies on the relationships between stress, sleep, and weight loss. Human bodies are complex and reactionary. If we don’t take the time to acknowledge that there is something more to being healthy than diet and exercise, then we are doing ourselves a disservice. We aren’t really transforming. We are just momentarily changing the path of the rollercoaster.

Sorry Madame Scale, this time it’s not all about you! My transformation adventure is a total transformation, and life is so much better for it. I believe in my heart that this time is truly different, because I am looking at life differently.  I, like a bazillion other women my age, have read Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, and it has helped me change my outlook tremendously. In it, she says, You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled. If you  make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are or what’s happening, you will be happy. She’s so right!!! So, here’s to making that choice every single day! Looking at life through gratitude instead of stress and worry, and coming out the other side in a better state of mind, and with a healthier body too!

XOXO,

FatFree Mommy

Thankful Beyond Words

Thankful Beyond WordsWeek: #5

Pounds Lost: 20

Pounds To Go: 188

Happy Thanksgiving weekend everyone!!! Words just cannot describe how thankful I am for our little family and for the friends who we shared this holiday with! I cooked all day, laughed all night, and it was they type of holiday gathering I have always envisioned. I even indulged just a little! I really was so proud of myself though! I took what I wanted without fear, because this year, for the first time in a long time, I was ok with letting go for the day.

Being on a weight loss journey can come with its fair share of guilt. Which is a mindset that I don’t particularly want to subscribe to any more. Ok, you had a piece of pie, all of Santa’s elves will not lose their left pinky finger if you eat a piece of pie! The world will not come to an end, and most importantly, neither will your health journey. Should you have pie every day and be ok with it, probably not if your goal is weight loss, but on a holiday where it is customary to partake in a slice, go for a small one without regrets!  That’s just what I did on Thursday, and it really did feel good.

Friday I felt the effects of gluten in my system and a twinge of dehydration, but other than that, it was a continuation of an amazing day full of thanks. Kids played, tree was decorated, leftovers were consumed, and I was back on track! All in all, it was a Thanksgiving I will look back on with joy. I needed one of those, and I really am thankful beyond words to have it in my memory bank!

 

The trick this Holiday season, is to let go of the tricks. You have to start out by believing that a day is just a day and that tomorrow is a new one. Ruining your holiday with the constant thoughts of food guilt or depravity will take away from the happy moments with family and friends. Focusing on the human interactions of the day will in turn help curb the urge to seriously over-indulge, for the simple reason that your meal will last longer. Unless you are absolutely gross, you will not talk or laugh and chew at the same time. That talking, that laughing, will put time gaps between bites, thus making you eat a little slower which will help you recognize when you are full. Win-Win! Besides, these holidays are supposed to be about the blessings of family and friends in your life, right?! It’s time to embrace the spirit of the holidays! So put down that fork and start talking, start laughing, engage in a conversation! I promise, you’ll be glad you did!

XOXO,

Fat-Free Mommy

Bigger Than Myself

Screen Shot 2016-03-31 at 11.46.55 AMWeek: #7

Pounds Lost: 3

Pounds to go: 127

Selfishness and vanity, two very easy elements of life. Each one of us is both to a certain degree, and that is not only ok,  it is good. There are times when we need to put ourselves before anyone else, and there is no problem in wanting to look your best! I have done this weight loss journey in the past for me, for vanity, and even before for my kiddos, but this time, I am adding another level of who or what is driving me down this path of weight loss success.

We all know I am a runDisney obsessed mama who is determined to do all of the runDisney races at Walt Disney World. They are fun, they are challenging, and contrary to what others may say, they are worth every penny. So, it is no surprise that when runDisney announced a new challenge during the Wine and Dine race weekend, I was all about it… just take my money runDisney! However, when it was time to register as an annual pass holder, I was left on the sidelines without the secured race bib which I desired. No amount of refreshing my screen or attempts through multiple mobile devices was going to change those evil words…”sold out” . Of course I still had an opportunity to register a week later through general public registration, but I didn’t want to wait. I took it as a sign that for the first time, I should run for something much bigger than myself, or my little family, I should run for a cause!

So I searched through the plethora of charities offering race entry, and I was drawn towards the one that not only struck a personal chord but one that I was already passionate about. It didn’t hurt that my favorite fitness mommy, Jillian Michaels was connected to the cause as well! This year, I will be running as a part of #TeamHealthierGeneration and representing the Alliance for a Healthier Generation in the fight against Childhood Obesity! I couldn’t dream of a better organization for me to represent. I was an obese child, I currently am an obese mother, and when it comes to my children, I will stop at nothing to give them the healthiest lives possible! Children rely on parents and schools to teach them how to be healthy, and right now, 1 in 3 children just aren’t learning the right lessons. If we don’t make a change in what foods are available in schools, how much physical activity children have access to, and the quality of at-home nutrition, then our children will be a part of a generation doomed for disease. The Fat-Free Mommy just can’t let that happen!

Clearly I’m pumped about this opportunity, but one thing just didn’t fit. How can I lead the way towards a healthier tomorrow, if I am not my healthiest self? The Fat-Free Mommy may be many things, but I am NOT a hypocrite! Could you imagine? Hello, I’m Mrs. McObesity, I don’t live by the healthy ideas I promote, but I would love it if you would… yeah, no! So I am putting my money where my mouth is, and for every pound I lose, from now to race weekend, I will donate an additional dollar to My Donor Drive . I believe in this cause, and I believe in myself, which is all I need to succeed. A healthier tomorrow is on the way, one pound and one dollar at a time!

 

XOXO, 

Fat-Free Mommy

Fat Princess Will NOT Be Fat Fairy!

dreams2Week: #2

Pounds Lost: 0

Pounds To Go: 130

It’s no shocking news that I participated in this past weekend’s runDisney Princess Half Marathon Races. I completed the 5K, the 10K, and the half marathon over my three day weekend adventure. Were my finish times a source of pride? Not really, but that wasn’t really my goal for the weekend either. My goal was to finish injury free. The truth is, I am acutely aware of my size and what it means in relation to my running. For every 1 pound of weight, a total of 4 pounds of pressure is placed on those ever so necessary knees. So currently, having an extra 130 pounds on my body equates to… wait for it… 520 EXTRA POUNDS OF PRESSURE!!! That’s a reality weight-loss show sized person of pressure! For this past weekend, I was definitely a Fat Princess, still a princess for sure, but a fat one! This weekend was the largest I have ever been for a half marathon, so, I took it slow, and completed each race pain free. Am I sore? Um yeah! Of course I am, but I still played in the Disney parks after each race, and taught Baby Boot Camp this morning, so obviously I am injury free.

Beyond the pressure of my knees, I found myself not wanting to take as many pictures and didn’t feel as royal as I maybe could have. I wouldn’t say I was discouraged, ok maybe I would, but I just don’t like having pictures of myself in this state. However, there were some truly amazing characters along the course, so I had to suck it up like a buttercup and take my Fat Princess pictures. I was accepting of the fact that there was no one else to blame for me being a fat princess except for myself. I ate my royal cake and now it was time to pay for it. Even with the disappointment surrounding my stature, I still had an amazing experience, and found myself looking towards the next Glittery Ovary Explosion of a race weekend that is Tinkerbell Race Weekend in May. During that weekend I will also be doing the 5K, 10K, and half marathon, but this time I will not be a Fat Fairy!

I am determined to make Tinkerbell Race Weekend one of celebration. One of being able to take pictures without being so self-conscious. I will wear the race attire I love and not avoid wearing my favorite tanks because I have too much back fat. I will not be the Fat Fairy who finished races despite the limitations of her size. I will be the Fit Fairy who more so looks the part of the runDisney fanatic, who I most certainly am. Am I expecting to be at my goal weight by May? Yeah, NO! I am not a lunatic! I know that losing that much in that little time is not even remotely possible, nor will I be resorting to any unhealthy behaviors in order to reach a weight loss goal in an unreasonable amount of time. What I will be doing is sticking to my plan. Putting my goals ahead of my excuses, and making sure that every choice I make in regards to food is one that will take me one bit closer to the Fat-Free Mommy I am determined to be, and by Princess  weekend next year, I will be a Fat-Free Princess too!

 

XOXO, 

Fat-Free Mommy

My Bunnies Don’t Eat Candy

poop jelly beansWeek: #3

Pounds Lost This Week: 0

Total Lost: 16.4

Pounds to go to Goal #1: 8.0

Pounds to go Overall: 105.0

Happiest of Easter/Passover/Sunday to you all! I hope this day is bringing happiness and love to you in whatever celebration you choose, because really, that’s what holidays are supposed to be about, right? I mean aside from the different religious meanings and traditions, at the core of it all is family and love, isn’t it? … or is it candy? Well, if you ask the Targets and other retailers of the universe, I think their answer may in fact be candy. We celebrate with the beloved Easter Bunny; we get a freaked out picture taken, buy and decorate our weight in eggs, and then Mr. Cotton Tail himself comes magically while mommy takes the little royals on a stroller jalk, hides all the eggs and brings baskets of presents.He even leaves footprints on our sidewalk, because as a gentleman he uses the front door. Its a weekend full of fun, love, and the excitement that only children can have over finding hard boiled eggs in random spots around the house.

Now, as the Easter Bunny’s helper, I was in charge of securing the contents of said Easter Baskets, and I was bound and determined to not have them overflowing with candy. I mean really, do we need another holiday that is candy-centric. You have Halloween, the grand poo-bah of candy holidays, Valentine’s Day or otherwise known as Chocolate In a Box Day, and even Christmas has those striped canes of sugary peppermint. Every holiday has some type of sugary symbol, and I couldn’t help but want to go against the grain this time. My kiddos don’t need all that sugar! Even if it is for just a treat, the amount of candy themed for the holiday was, well, out of control. Did you know that over 90 million chocolate buddies are sold surrounding the Easter holiday? Seriously, must we eat a chocolate bunny? Will my children be looked at as deprived if they don’t have a chocolate bunny? I decided that I didn’t care and I went to a few stores this week looking for non-candy items on behalf of Mr. Bunny. You know what?  I struggled each time. There were multiple aisles of candy, and non-candy items seemed chintzy at best. Do we just forgo the whole Easter Basket experience? I can’t deny my children the fun of coloring eggs and getting a basket from Mr. Bunny, that would just be heartless. So what did this Fat-Free Mommy do? Well, lets just say I spent more than a couple dollars on non-candy items that didn’t deserve my money, but I stuck to my non-candy guns.

It really shouldn’t have been that hard! Do peeps really need to come in every color of the rainbow? Must there be edible Easter Basket grass? We have moved beyond the paper grass that would traditionally line the baskets because even the grass must be made of sugar? Everything must be edible! Come on! It is hard enough trying to find foods that kids will like that aren’t dripping with sugar, preservatives, GMOs, added hormones, and whatever other chemical combinations factories can make. If we give up the fight then our children could end up obese or plagued with any number of avoidable diseases and conditions, so we have to stand up for health, even on holidays, right?

When we got home from our jalk, I watched as my little royals beamed with joy over seeing the footsteps of Mr. Bunny. Shouts of  The Easter Bunny Came!!! excitedly left the lips of my princess. The baskets were a big hit, the eggs were found, and not a word of the missing candy was spoken. No one cared that there wasn’t a chocolate bunny! I felt almost like the Grinch at the end of the story when he realized that it wasn’t the presents that made Christmas special. Easter wasn’t about the candy this year, at least not in the Fat-Free Mommy house, and even though it was hard, I was proud that I didn’t succumb to the candy coated pressure.

XOXO,

Fat-Free Mommy

Little Healthy Choices

My little prince in my arms at five months old.

My little prince in my arms at five months old.

Week #2: 

 Pounds Lost This Week: 2.4

 Total Lost: 16.4

 Pounds to go to Goal #1: 8.0

Pounds to go Overall: 105.0

 Being a mommy is hands down the absolute BEST! It’s no secret that mommyhood was always on my life agenda, and being able to stay at home with my little royals is amazing, at times rough, but always fascinating and full of love, even when I’ve lost my ish and start a no-talking dance party in the living room. Now that I have a four year old princess and a one year old prince, I am hyper concerned with their health, and more acutely their eating habits, because, their relationship with food is pretty much solely influenced by yours truly. I buy mainly organic, at times gluten free, and have done my part in brain washing them into calling fruit filled oat bars “candy bars”, and veggie infused chips made from beans “potato chips”. So, I’ve at least done that correctly, right? I mean they don’t even know what a Dorito or a Happy Meal is, so I’m certain that gets me to some type of bonus level of mommyhood. So, why on a daily basis do I worry and analyze every nutritional detail of their day? I am literally on the cliff of paranoia when it comes my influence on their health habits. Well, first I’m a mom, so yeah I suppose that’s just what we do, and second what kind of Fat-Free Mommy would I be if I didn’t obsess in some way over the health of my children? Are they getting enough greens? Are they being overloaded with sugar? Do they get enough protein? Too much fat? Are their eating habits stunting their growth or causing some type of disorder? My goodness, I could literally go on forever with all of the internal questions that circle the Fat-Free Mommy brain at any given minute!

Well, this past week has given me a glimmer of hope that my behaviors and choices are making a good health impression on the wee ones. On one of our weekly adventures at Baby Boot Camp, my princess escaped from our stroller, as she does because she is of the age where she wants to be involved and included in everything! So, what did she do, she picked up a piece of equipment and began to exercise. She said she was exercising, and I have never felt so proud! She’s 4 years old, and she knows exercise is a want to activity. She was adorable with her squats and use of an extremely loose resistance band for bicep curls. I stopped to take a few photos, and then had to stop myself because that meant that I wasn’t exercising, and um hello, that’s why we were there!

Later in the week, when I asked her what she wanted for a snack, she requested Sports Candy, which is of course code for an apple. Now, I can’t take credit for that one, it comes from a television show for toddlers called LazyTown, where the hero Sporticus often needs Sports Candy to help him have energy to save the day. So, thank you to the creators of LazyTown for their genius product placement of a natural fruit! Anyhow, she asked for it, and inside I was jumping for joy, on the outside I praised her choice. Of course, if she was given the choice between a cupcake and an apple, she would hands down go for the cupcake, but we don’t keep cupcakes in the house. Let’s be real though, if we did keep cupcakes in the house, this Fat-Free Mommy would have eaten them all before the princess even had a chance. At the end of the day, my little princess was making me so proud with her little healthy choices, and I have to think that those choices had at least a little to do with me.

Being a mommy can be hard, especially as a stay-at-home mom. Not because toddlers can be complete whack-a-doodles with temper tantrums that could be Oscar nominated, but because at the end of the day, we were in charge of literally every waking moment our child experienced. Every minute at the park was because I ultimately chose to go. Every ounce of milk or water was because I chose to put that in the sippy cup. Every food available to them at home is there because I chose to put it in our house. There is no day-care to blame for a nutritional imbalance. There is no school to blame for not enough minutes of active play in the day. It’s all on me, and that can be exhausting! So, here’s to all of the mommies out there, stay-at-home and otherwise who give it their all to provide healthy happy lives for their little ones. Our job may not be easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

XOXO,

Fat-Free Mommy

The Biggest Loser’s Forgiveness

Week: #1

Pounds Lost: 0

Pounds To Go: 107

A couple weeks ago, I got to be a running princess once again, and I loved every minute and every mile of Disney’s Princess Half Marathon weekend. 22.4 total miles (5k, 10k, and a half marathon) later and I have to say that my best memory from the weekend wasn’t from any of the races, although they were absolutely wonderful, but my best memory is from a five minute breakdown of a conversation with a weight loss celebrity.   Danni Allen of The Biggest Loser fame was scheduled to be a speaker at the Fit for a Princess Expo, and I was beyond excited to see her. In season 14, she won the Biggest Loser, I watched her lose her weight, I watched her win, and I identified with her all those years ago, because she was inspired to lose weight by a traumatic health experience with her Dad. Us Fatty McDaddy’s Girls need to stick together, right? Well fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I was pumped full of weight loss energy, and ready to totally geek out and get my picture taken with a weight loss idol.

Seeing her talk was amazing, yes she was a celebrity, but she was real,  and she seemed like a friend up on that stage. She spoke of taking weight loss one day at a time, and making small changes in order to make an eventual big change, giving up the scale obsession and focusing on the fit of clothes. She was lovely, and I sat there just soaking in her weight loss positivity. Her speaking time came to end and it was time for what we had all been waiting for, time to actually meet her, ask questions, and of course take a social media postable photo. When it came to my turn, even with a line up of women behind me, I took the opportunity to do the unthinkable. After our photo, I said I had a question for her and then it happend… I completely broke down.  Even as it was happening, I was telling myself not to cry, don’t let it all out, but I was powerless. I told her how she inspired me because I too was a Daddy’s girl. I told her how after having my daughter I lost 220 pounds, felt amazing, and then put 120 of it back on to have my son. I told her through embarrassing tears how my Dad passed in November and how a since then my weight loss has stalled and gone in the way wrong direction, and how I just can’t seem to get a grip on it and turn the weight loss train around.  At that point I was ugly crying, apologizing for crying, and she did just what a friend would do… She gave me the biggest, most sincere hug. Then she gave me the advice that only she could give. You need to forgive yourself, she said, and she was absolutely right. 

I am sad, I miss my Dad, and for the most part, I can be strong, I can put on a brave face and go on with life’s progress. But then, there are other times, ironically today is very much one of those other  times, when the tears flow, the flashes of his death take over my vision, and I feel lost and alone. Typically, that will result in a binge,  and it doesn’t really matter what food I turn to, my ability to have self control is completely gone. At some point I will snap out of it, gain control, but by that point, I will have also gained a pound or five, or ten depending, which leaves me as a shell of strength, hating myself for not having it all together. It’s a cycle that I need to break, and that every week I work on breaking, but what I really need to do first is eactly what Danni said, I need to forgive myself. I need to take it one day at time, and realize that this time around, weight loss may not be as easy, but I can’t and I won’t give up.

I am so thankful for my embarrassing moment with Danni. It was a small piece of an exciting weekend that truly meant the world to me. I may not ever see her again, but I am a forever fan, and she has helped me more than she may ever know. I am still very much a work in weight loss progress, but I can do this. I will reach my goals. It will take a while, but I will be the Fat-Free Mommy who I know I can be!

XOXO,

Fat-Free Mommy



Puzzle Pieces

Week: #4
Pounds Lost: 5.6
Pounds to Go: 101.4

It’s no secret that when it comes to reality television, I am, for the most part, a fan. Particularly of shows on networks like TLC or Bravo. One newer show that my eyeballs have been particularly glued to is, My Big Fat Fabulous Life on TLC. If you haven’t seen it, it chronicles the life of a self-proclaimed fat-ass bad-ass woman named Whitney, who through her early 20-something years has gone from a average sized girl, to one who tips the scales at over 380 pounds. Her and I both have a condition called PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), which is, at its core, a hormonal imbalance which wreaks havoc on your womanhood. It makes it extremely easy to gain weight, a tad harder to lose it, and if being a Fatty McFatGirl wasn’t bad enough, you also tend to have elevated levels of testosterone which may surface in a bit of facial hair. Now, can I grow a beard like Santa? NO! But do I need to be a regular at the European Wax Center? You betcha! So I can empathize with Whitney, and for the most part, I love her attitude and outlook on life!

She landed this reality show because she was the brave big girl who loved to dance, and wasn’t afraid to be proud of her moves! Her video went viral and now she can be a true inspiration to so many women! She doesn’t need me to be, but I am proud of her. You go girl! However, when I am being a voyeur on her newly televised life, I can’t help but be a little judgy, any time there is a scene where she is eating. She says, that she wants to lose weight, she loves her body, but she knows that in order to be healthy she needs to be a little bit less of her fabulous self. So, you would think that she would at least have a conscious idea of what she should or shouldn’t be eating. I know, for me, removing gluten and all things bread, pasta, and potato turn my body into a functional fat burning weight losing machine. If I slip, I will gain, no questions asked, I will pack it on, regardless of how active I may be. So, when I see her eating pizza or a mayonnaise and banana sandwich (apparently a Southern delight that I will never be able to stomach), I cringe!

You can’t lose 100 pounds just by dancing! You have to get in the kitchen and create a healthy body from the inside out! At times I want to shake her, and then give her a hug, because even my judgy wudgy thoughts come from a place of love for this courageous stranger. But seriously, losing weight is a two part puzzle, you can’t out exercise a bad diet, and you can’t get a strong magazine cover worthy body just by eating apples and chicken breasts. You need both pieces. Some say, and I tend to agree, that weight loss is more of a kitchen battle, but don’t forget that building muscle will help that kitchen battle be more efficient. So, again, you need both pieces!

In the case of Whitney, I hope that in the episodes to come she gains the food knowledge that will help her lose weight. I want to be a cheerleader for her success, because I see so much of my former self in her. I know she can have success on Madame Scale, just as I know I can and will continue to have success on her. So, more power to Whitney, more power to the Fat-Free Mommy, and more power to everyone on any path of health and happiness everywhere! We can all have all the success we desire as long as we pay respects to both pieces of the puzzle!

XOXO,
Fat-Free Mommy